Ggrr...

I found out today that somebody I told about my blog has told another somebody else about it and that somebody is the exact kind of body that I do not want to let know of the existence of my blog!!

*hhmmmpphhh*...

Talk about sampat-ness.

I mean, I'm not gonna restrict anyone from reading this damn blog, but u know, there's a reason why I don't advertise it all over the place anyway.

Coz sometimes I like to bitch about ppl that bugs me at random times (but I don't hate) and sometimes ppl misunderstand the concept of 'ranting' as a form of oppressed anger at them.

It's not... As long as I don't use the word 'hate' on the person.

Anyway, I'm feeling kinda annoyed at that somebody who leaked out my blog to their somebody. It's truly annoying coz now I'm known as the 'blogger girl' & for those of you who know me well enough, you know I most definitely hate being coined that.

I am ssoooo not a blog crusader. To anyone who's ever known me in person, u know I hate so-called celebrity bloggers (especially the locals) whose head is up his/her ass just coz they have a few thousand hits a day.

I hate ppl who gloat about themselves on their blog as if they're the most good-looking smartest human that ever lived (and actually thinking it's true) even though they're pathetically ugly & probably lived through the IRC phase in the 90's with nicknames like L3nGCh4 / Macho69 / Model36-24-36 / K3nNYS4L or some hedonistic name to that extent. These ppl are not just delusional in a figuratively speaking manner, but some are seriously high on something or else why would they think ppl actually care if you had a threesome or ur hometown is *that* great or ur asshole has 3 strains of hair or u're so rich u can buy anything u want (sadly u can't buy uranus, else u'd probably be living there by now).

I quote from GA: "Seriously??!!"
Me. A Blogger..?

I hate ppl who put up damn 7469 puke-inducing slutty OR 'konon cute' self cam-whoring pics (complete with the peace sign pose, the one eye peeking fr side fringe and the self-obsessed sparkle in the eyes) all over their pink pink pink pink pink blog. Once in a while they'll even throw in punny quotes of the day or some retarded shit like that to divert ur attention away from their meaningless life coz really, the only fren they have is themselves. And those vanity shots were taken at practically everywhere from the car to the toilet (come on, no matter how many side angle profiles you take, you are still a fat bitch, so do us all a favor & start puking out your food u dumb truck).

I quote from GA again: "Seriously??!!"
Me. A Blogger..?

I also happen to hate ppl who writes their blog like an online magazine, complete with pictures of celebrity cam-whoring, konon life-stylish abstact photography (just becoz they're not too stupid to operate a camera), fashion tips, what they bought at their fav stores at such good prices that they won't reveal the name the boutique (i mean come on, we ALL know you're talking about Zara ok?? only YOU don't know we all know, dumb ho). And sometimes they rant about things that they already rant to their frens about, but do it on their blog anyway coz they are just ssuuuuucccchhhh attention seekers and probably think their readers think it's cute if they repeat everything like a broken record player. Dude, that's called growing OLD, not COOL.

So now, I quote from GA again: "Seriously??!!"
Me. A Blogger..?

You know who you are.

I have a life, I don't hate you (as I've obviously demonstrated what hatred is earlier), but i am NOT SOME COOL BLOGGER with some super awesome entries you can read about hoping to dig out some dirt about me.

Ggrr.. I'm annoyed.

Malaysian Men & Fashion

In today's Malay Mail, there's this article about how some obscure fashionist has identified 6 'Key Style Tribes' within the global men's fashion world.

Namely:

1. Mr. Cool Britannia (example given: Jude Law)
   
2. Mr. Eternal Boy (example given: Bee Gees)
3. Mr. Eighties Throwback (example given: Simon Cowell)
4. Mr. Slob (example given: Tim Robbins)
5. Mr. Fashion (example given: David Beckham)
6. Mr. Dishelleved (example given: Johnny Depp)

...
....
......

OK seriously, 1st of all.... that's not even a catchy NOR funny definition.
And 2nd of all... how can you compare the average man's fashion style with that of a super star?

So salah concept.

Like, if our local men here really dressed up as *ANY* of these stereotypes, then why are malaysian women still such an angsty bunch??

Let me tell YOU what the average Malaysian men's fashion style is...!

Pikachew's Guide To Malaysian Men's Dressing

The Ah Beng

Men of various age & race adopt it, as it is fashionable yet identifiable with celebrity status & youth culture (i.e. F4 or Jay Chou or Mawi).

Suitable for both casual & business wear, with endless accessories to further complement the look like belts, ties, necklaces, arm bands & leather boots.

This style is most fashionable if accompanied with a radical hairstyle or hair color.

Signature Style: Rolled up cotton long sleeve shirt / body hugging baby T + Flair bottomed jeans.

*In a Nutsack: ALL geeks / gay men in our country dresses like that. All races.

The College Student

There are 2 main fashion styles to this: The Hip-Hoper & The Slacker.
Both are equally accepted styles of identity as a varsity student in a private institution or international college.


Not a look to suit all ages, as it is mostly worn by men between 12 - 35 yrs old.

Mostly stereotyped as casual wear, The Slacker is spotted on men of all walks of life (working or student) after working hours from shopping malls to mamaks. During football season, this look is at it's peak with many men donning their favourite football clubs/teams shirts in this style.


The Hip Hop is taken more seriously by non-working males, as it also comes with various accessories to complement the look.


Signature Style: Baggy long sleeve shirt / football or baseball or basketball jersey + baggy stone washed jeans + cap.

*In a Nutsack: ALL college-going men dress like this in our country.

The Locals

The main difference between this look and the College Student look is in the accessories.

The Local look has less body accessories but take head gear and jackets seriously.
Needless to say, the fashion victims of this kind of look take pride in their outer appearance.

This look is definitely the more flamboyant of the 2 student-prone styles.

Day-wear would mostly concentrate on the head gear (with more colorful caps or something religious for that bold statement) & eye wear.


Night-wear is more formal & dramatic, complete with a warm jacket for that cold breeze, or a motorcycle helmet for that wild night out with the guys.


Signature Style: Baggy shirt w sports jacket + tight denim jeans + head accessory + cigarettes.



*In a Nutsack: Every men in this country has been through this 'kampung' phase before.

The Yuppy

The fashion statement that is taking Malaysian men by storm.
The basic definition of this style is in it's perfectly groomed look, and expensive fabric shirts.

The Yuppy look is never incorporated with jeans & T-shirts.

Also the most flexible style for occasions that require people's attention onto themselves.

During Work: Makes you look really smart and seem really busy.


During Lunch / Poser time @ Starbucks: A nice Polo neck shirt and IT gadgets/accessories further enhances your coolness.


During social gatherings: Highten women's interest in you & your ever sexual presence.


Signature Style: Expensive long sleeved shirt (rolled up & tucked in), belt, high quality slacks + 1 simple accessory (man-purse / laptop bag / big watch / skinny tie / gf) to complete the look!

*In a Nutsack: ALL men in this country who're working are wearing this same shit right now.

The Uncle

The style for ALL men aged 50 & above.

Signature Style: Checkered shirt, jeans + pouch / golf cap.

*In a Nutsack: Everyone's dad, favorite uncle, grandpa, sugar daddy dresses like that in this country.

The Ultimate Clubber Look

An urban alternative for men aged between 12 - 49.

Occasions to don the Clubber Look:
- Clubbing (of course)
- Movies / Bowling / Cyber Cafe / Date
- Birthday parties
- Karaoke / Concerts
- Family Dinner / CNY / Hari Raya / Deepavali / Xmas
- Church / Temple
- Dodgy pubs / 'Spa's
- Weddings / Funerals / Kenduris

Signature Style: Similar with that of the Yuppy but with jeans, nicer shoes and a striking pose.





*In a Nutsack: The only thing any men in this country will need to wear to get out of the house and face society.

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See?
Key Style Tribe my ass..........

Post-Perhentian Depression

Back to civilisation.

Back to reality.

Back to work.

Back to diet.

SIGH...................

SSooooo much happening while I was gone, my sampat-radar is going haywire now!

Ssooooo long more to BKK trip....

Ssooooo itchy my sunburnt skin...

Ssooooo lazy to do anything....

Shout out to Brenda, Happy Belated Birthday ILoveYouDon'tHateMeForCallingLate.

Shout out to Theopilit, Happy 2nd Day at work YouCanDoItLoveYouLongTime.

Shout out to Didi, Dodo, Dadu, Duda, Carlos, Captain, Captain's son, 2 cute guys on the beach, Panda kitten, Traumatized Turtles, Dean The Bully, Mars shake, Snicker shake... IMissYouAll.

SIGH.................


kill me.

Aftermath

It's been so long since my last post I honestly dunno what to blog about...

I mean, whatever that needs to be bitched/moaned/gossiped, I've already expressed through nights of drunken stupor & hours of yum cha-ing.

And whatever I *can't* bitch about here, I've already managed to convert to other sources of energy that are much better wasted on (i.e. sleep, gamble, drink, watch tv, drink summore, 'sleep', dig nose, observe the ceiling).

But here are some highlights of the year 2007 (so far):

• Work was been brilliantly crazy. I like. Coz I now am so busy I have no time to eat properly, I smoke more, I get mini anxiety attacks & I don't sleep as much. This ingenious diet method is perfect for that super-model look I've always wanted (hollow eyes, sunken cheekbones, skinny body, perpetual shoulder hunch). Go me.

• Found a new person to hate! Would love to contribute a whole post to her (Nigel, be patient, it's coming!) but in a nutshell:

1. She attempts to smoke like she attempts to pass off as a human even though she's probably related to a walrus with a mammary gland problem.
2. She attempts to be a Christian the same way she attempts smoking.
3. She's so retarded she thinks a swinger is a re-born virgin, at the same time, trying to spread her disease of idiotic-ness in deluded confidence, while attempting to *smoke* a cigarette. (multi-tasking doesn't work very well for walrus' i think).
4. She's a compulsive liar who's so insecure she has to have sex at holy places (like a whore) & treats her bf like a pet hamster she can torture when she's not making him lick her pussy through a cage.
5. Her daily routine involves a morning round of self-pity, an afternoon of talking out of her ass (coz at least poop comes out of there, instead of stupidity laced in bad manners & spunk from the local foreign mamak waiter), and an evening of forcing her bf to worship her for the loser that she is with a promise of sleazy car sex afterwards.
6. She has an imaginary life, where she's an ordinary lovable little girl, as she needs to run away from the reality that she's just a friendless, lifeless, brainless, tackless, penniless piece of ah-lien trash that nobody gives a shit about. Even the beggars in the street tosses her a penny. And the local crazies avoid her, too crazy even for them.
7. She deserves to die simply becoz she blames all of the above on her fucked-up parents(whom apparently never raped her or forced her to sell drugs or anything), just coz they slapped her once in a while for being so ugly.
8. She has only 2 things coming in this life: (1) A bf who (luckily for her) has a low self-esteem & equal amount of insecurity to actually still be with her for the 1,000th time. And (2) a sad existence: waste of our earth's air & space.

• Moving on... The bf & I had a relatively quiet Valentine's slash Birthday. Though on the last hour of the night, the gang decided to show up at the house uninvited & uninhibited. With Uncle Chivas. Ahh, the joys & perils of being TheoChew... Comes with the job description, what can I say? ;)

• Gave away my 2nd 'dare' money on yet another entertainingly gay moment to enjoy. The phrase 'Suck my balls' will never mean the same to me again.. heh.

• Nigel the Bangsar's Favourite Pondan has finally gotten himself a girlfriend (notice I didnt put 'gf' just in case u think I was joking or meant gay-friend). But yes, it's true, ladies & gentlemen! This half-man is officially off the meat market (not that it matters in the 1st place).. Though if you know me well enough, you'll know that I'm probably not just happy to blog about just for fucks.. So yes, actually, I'm saying this coz there's a rather ironic twist to this 'coupling' that I shall not say right now (at least not here), so there Nigel, I'm being nice! hahahahah....

I think that's that for now...

For all my colleagues who were actually sampat enough to find me on friendster AND THEN find my blog and are actually reading this.. *AHEM*

Let me say welcome to my brain & sorry, there's no refund.

Ciaos.

PMS Weekend

The title just about sums up the gist of it.

Got pissed (early) on Friday night on beer, and fell straight to sleep when I reached home...

Woke up at noon, felt angsty coz I wasted my Saturday morning & had a splitting hangover...
Things were la-di-da during brunch untill my mom called halfway through my food saying she was already at Pantai Hillpark waiting for me..
Super irritated coz I wasn't even expecting my parents untill evening (or at least that was what she told me). And now I had to chow my food down hurriedly to meet them before my dad starts getting a fit.

And did you check the weather on Saturday?
SUPER HOT SUPER SAIYA SUPER IDIOT DRIVERS EVERYWHERE.

So like that lor, finally met my parents in world breaking record speed, then we headed down to Cheras to my Auntie #7's new house (which was the whole purpose for my parent's trip).

The new house was not too bad... Big, spacious, corner lot, new neighbourhood.. but one thing I damn don't like... too hot!! The relatives just moved in so no air cond installed yet...

Which made a bloody sticky, humid and sweaty 3 hours sitting in the living room listening to aunty chatter as my mom and her sister catch up with the family gossip. Which made Pikachew an extremely bored and restless HoBo. One thing was going through my escapist mind: If I can't even stand sitting here, how to tahan spending the night??!!! AArRrRGgGhHHhHHhhhh...!!

I had to leave. I had to fucking hatch up a plan fast and take hostages with me if I had to (in this case it's my brother by default. He's more like the scapegoat most times but yea whatever it is, he's basically the victim).

So the plan was to escape home after dinner and promise to come back for breakfast the next day...
The parents bought it coz the house *was* pretty humid even for their standards, and not like there was much furniture around either.

So then I thought Saturday night was gonna be a blast coz:
a) I got to drive the new family car around - the black canary, i mean, Kenari.
b) I have the hostage a.k.a Botak who also happens to be my accomplice.
and c) The Bf didn't have any plans so we can hang out at someplace awesome that I won't have to pay for!

...

Or so I thought for c) anyway..

Turns out Bf & gang were going to Bond for Saz's damn-last-min leaving for work on Sunday afternoon self-imposed going away party. N also for some underaged chick's bd. wtf.

But I was all cool and shit about that coz there's always the movies right?
So off me & Botak went to BU look for midnight movie.

That was when b) got bombed, coz there were absolutely no movies to watch. I kid you not.
Everything was either sold out or about 3-5 random seats left. Even cicak man selling fast!
Sweet Santa Clause & Gay Rudolf.

So then last resort for the night (we couldn't go clubbing coz no proper attire and we hada to wake up early next day)... was Starbucking!
Which is what we eventually did, albiet a bit boringly...

I mean, Botak was having fun chatting online with the gf, and I was happily flipping through the latest Hot magazine.. But becoz it was just the 2 of us, I started getting sleepy.

Then in the most potong steam fashion of the millenium, we both went back to Pantai to sleep at 2am on a fabulous Saturday night...

S.I.G.H.

The next day was even worse.

Sunday brunch was boring... Only entertainment I had was my baby cousin (whose a natural camwhore btw).
Had to practically beg my parents to let me go home in the afternoon, giving them the excuse that I was planning to go gym.

I was in a bad mood from 2pm onwards after that when i finally got home.
It felt like I've totally wasted my weekend, running around like a headless chicken, rushing for this, rushing for that, sitting around listening to irrelevant things..
I'm already doing all that at work during weekdays, man!

Even the Bf kena my tsunami wave of PMS.

Then my period came just as I was sub-dueing into a calmer mood.

Ala.. Patutlah mood macam pontianak & muka macam babi kena sembelih... Rupa-rupanye auntie visit, bukan I visit auntie! ahak-ahak-ahak!

As soon as the crimson tide took over, my overall mental health was pretty much stabilized.

Bf bought me a nice hearty dinner at Chili's, just the 2-of-us which was quite rare nowadays, to make-up for not spending time with me the whole week, which was very sweet of him. A very loving gesture.

I guess that was all I needed at the end of the day... :)

Kill Me

I'm not in the best of moods today, despite having watched Happy Feet last night for the 2nd time.

Was generally ok untill I woke up this morning:

- Discovered my car ear apendages gave way *again*, even though I used a gazillion miles of marking tape.

- Got lost on the way to work (took a diff route to try & beat the traffic).

- Was late for work anyway, so decided to park in the building which charges by the hour, EVEN THOUGH i already have a monthly parking spot opposite the road but i have no choice coz i'd be damn damn damn late if i park elsewhere now.

- Found my desk was cleared of all my files on top & under it coz of some tiuniaseng 'wellfuckingbeing week' that we were compliant to follow some chowcibai RULE (wat else is there?) in which we cannot have things lying around the floor or desk top incase if there was a kannineh fire broke out in the office, we wouldn't be too retarded to trip & fall & get stuck at our goddamn motherfucking desk & perish in the fire & make our parents rich from the negligence lawsuit to the bank later.

- Spent almost the entire morning trying to retrieve my desk belongings from everywhere. Getting them back into their original messy state is not an easy feat ok...

- And just as I thought a quiet peaceful lunch at Starbucks was a wicked idea, halfway through my sandwich, I felt a sudden wave of drowsiness hit me.. Son of a Britney...

So now here I am after lunch hour at my desk, eyelids heavy & mouth yawning...

Half a day more to go...

S
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25 is the new 21

First things first.

I'm not gonna apologize for not blogging or updating my life story to friends, family, pets, stalkers, whatnots. I now fill out that age group box that says '24 - 29' in application forms for god's sakes.. Do i really need to keep up with the low self-esteem & emo rambling anymore???

The answer is - yes.
25 is the new 21.
I'm still a sweet insecure 21-year old inside.

Just coz I hit 25 recently on Nov 1st (hint hint hint) doesn't mean I lose any entitlement to be childish, angry, ecstatic, horny or hungry.

So to commemorate the beginning of a new level of senility, I shall tell you the events that lead to this new blog transfer.

October 9th (Mon): Beginning of a new error.
- Most of you might've read about my 1st week at the new job here.
- It's been alright so far, but there are a few major stupidity happening in my office that I'll gladly share, just in case any of you decide to be a banker and ruin your social life. Or worse, decide to join this very same bank:

• No heavy duty, over-priced and potentially cancerous toilet air freshener. They use pandan leaves instead. That means, if anybody takes a big-time shit, even your shirts will absorb the stench. I'd rather have nose cancer.
• Smoking area is confined to the main lobby entrance, right next to the California Fitness gym. That means, as you puff away your life, you get to watch fit and supposedly healthy simpletons strut their stuff in & out of the gym. I think them 'powers that be' are trying to deploy a 'guilt' tactic. Not working. Gay men have nice bootays.
• Lunch time conversation is as exciting as watching snails race. Not that I don't like my colleagues, they are generally nice people. But the lack of scandals & office gossips here is like denying me of my right to do what I do best: Be sampat. The most exciting piece of news I've heard recently that got everyone worked up was the new Cappuccino Vanilla flavor in the coffee machine.
• Which brings us to the next stupidity. When even my pathetic ex-company has at least a decent pantry, imported coffee powder, a strong coffee machine and a coffee aunty to wash your cups for you, etc.. My new office has NONE of the above. NONE. BOH. TADAK. For all the money the company is hiring you for, they make you wash your own mugs/utensils/plates (which you BYO anyways), and they only let you drink cheap Nescafe beverages from a 30cents-a-cup press machine. Thank Krishna you don't actually have to put in goddamn coins to get your drink, it's free. Oh we have a tea-lady alright. But she just sits around and watch us make our own drinks. I dunno why they hire her for. Seriously.
• Acronyms. Are. F.U.C.K.E.D.U.P. On my 2nd week, I was passed a list of acronyms that I was expected to memorize. I've no problems with that, but it just goes to show the extent of flexibility around here. Even the most simple things were abbreviated. Like C,G & P. As if it's damn hard to say Classic, Gold & Platinum. If it's a process name or system, I understand la, u know? KNNCCB.
  
• And the most stupid one of all: The Internet web log. I though the ex-company was bad enough that we can't access game sites, in this new place, I can't even access friendster or check emails!!! hotmail, yahoo, gmail, u name it. All banned.
  

So with that, I have no choice but to move my rantings out to more accessible sites. Thank God they haven't blocked blogs.

November 1st (Wed): The more important date for human race in history.
- The bf threw me a not-so-surprising surprise party on my birthday eve. The sweetest part was the Eastin Hotel stay over. Yaww, kinky dai yo!! Kudos for his effort though, he got some good lovin' that night too..!! >.< - I spent the day-time of my birthday loitering around Midvalley:

• Went Starbucking.
• Got flowers from my office, at Starbucks.
• Went for a reality check-cum-body consultation at Marie France. The lady told me I had 32% fats in my body, which officially puts me in the Fat category. Normal people have between 22 - 25% fats.
• Went home, watched my Prison Break dvds.
  

So with all that, I've come to realize that being 25 doesn't make me anymore wiser than what I was 4 years ago. I'm still as vain, still as angsty, still as sotong. So much for quarter life crisis!

Though, there are a few things that I'm determined to improve on before the year is over. Sort of like a birthday resolution thingy...

• Lose weight. For real. Goodbye crash diets and DIY aerobic tapes. Hello slimming centers, yoga classes & slimming products! (Who needs FOC college diet methods when you can actually PAY for overnight slimming alternatives??)
• Show my naked body & orifices to strangers. I.e. get my teeth fixed, visit a gynae, etc.
• Be more religious. Gotta give Seet a call about our next gig, man..
• Get a Hep shot.
  
• Donate blood.
• Update my blog more. Not just for poser's sake, but just coz I can now in the office, with my new blog address. Muahaha...

So yea, that's that.