Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Malaysian Men & Fashion

In today's Malay Mail, there's this article about how some obscure fashionist has identified 6 'Key Style Tribes' within the global men's fashion world.

Namely:
  1. Mr. Cool Britannia (example given: Jude Law)
  2. Mr. Eternal Boy (example given: Bee Gees)
  3. Mr. Eighties Throwback (example given: Simon Cowell)
  4. Mr. Slob (example given: Tim Robbins)
  5. Mr. Fashion (example given: David Beckham)
  6. Mr. Dishelleved (example given: Johnny Depp)
...
....
......

OK seriously, 1st of all.... that's not even a catchy NOR funny definition.
And 2nd of all... how can you compare the average man's fashion style with that of a super star?

So salah concept.

Like, if our local men here really dressed up as *ANY* of these stereotypes, then why are malaysian women still such an angsty bunch??

Let me tell YOU what the average Malaysian men's fashion style is...!

Pikachew's Guide To Malaysian Men's Dressing

The Ah Beng

Men of various age & race adopt it, as it is fashionable yet identifiable with celebrity status & youth culture (i.e. F4 or Jay Chou or Mawi).

Suitable for both casual & business wear, with endless accessories to further complement the look like belts, ties, necklaces, arm bands & leather boots.

This style is most fashionable if accompanied with a radical hairstyle or hair color.

Signature Style: Rolled up cotton long sleeve shirt / body hugging baby T + Flair bottomed jeans.






*In a Nutsack: ALL geeks / gay men in our country dresses like that. All races.


The College Student

There are 2 main fashion styles to this: The Hip-Hoper & The Slacker.
Both are equally accepted styles of identity as a varsity student in a private institution or international college.


Not a look to suit all ages, as it is mostly worn by men between 12 - 35 yrs old.

Mostly stereotyped as casual wear, The Slacker is spotted on men of all walks of life (working or student) after working hours from shopping malls to mamaks. During football season, this look is at it's peak with many men donning their favourite football clubs/teams shirts in this style.


The Hip Hop is taken more seriously by non-working males, as it also comes with various accessories to complement the look.


Signature Style: Baggy long sleeve shirt / football or baseball or basketball jersey + baggy stone washed jeans + cap.

*In a Nutsack: ALL college-going men dress like this in our country.


The Locals

The main difference between this look and the College Student look is in the accessories.

The Local look has less body accessories but take head gear and jackets seriously.
Needless to say, the fashion victims of this kind of look take pride in their outer appearance.

This look is definitely the more flamboyant of the 2 student-prone styles.

Day-wear would mostly concentrate on the head gear (with more colorful caps or something religious for that bold statement) & eye wear.


Night-wear is more formal & dramatic, complete with a warm jacket for that cold breeze, or a motorcycle helmet for that wild night out with the guys.


Signature Style: Baggy shirt w sports jacket + tight denim jeans + head accessory + cigarettes.



*In a Nutsack: Every men in this country has been through this 'kampung' phase before.


The Yuppy

The fashion statement that is taking Malaysian men by storm.
The basic definition of this style is in it's perfectly groomed look, and expensive fabric shirts.

The Yuppy look is never incorporated with jeans & T-shirts.

Also the most flexible style for occasions that require people's attention onto themselves.

During Work: Makes you look really smart and seem really busy.


During Lunch / Poser time @ Starbucks: A nice Polo neck shirt and IT gadgets/accessories further enhances your coolness.


During social gatherings: Highten women's interest in you & your ever sexual presence.


Signature Style: Expensive long sleeved shirt (rolled up & tucked in), belt, high quality slacks + 1 simple accessory (man-purse / laptop bag / big watch / skinny tie / gf) to complete the look!

*In a Nutsack: ALL men in this country who're working are wearing this same shit right now.



The Uncle

The style for ALL men aged 50 & above.

Signature Style: Checkered shirt, jeans + pouch / golf cap.

*In a Nutsack: Everyone's dad, favorite uncle, grandpa, sugar daddy dresses like that in this country.


The Ultimate Clubber Look

An urban alternative for men aged between 12 - 49.

Occasions to don the Clubber Look:
- Clubbing (of course)
- Movies / Bowling / Cyber Cafe / Date
- Birthday parties
- Karaoke / Concerts
- Family Dinner / CNY / Hari Raya / Deepavali / Xmas
- Church / Temple
- Dodgy pubs / 'Spa's
- Weddings / Funerals / Kenduris

Signature Style: Similar with that of the Yuppy but with jeans, nicer shoes and a striking pose.





*In a Nutsack: The only thing any men in this country will need to wear to get out of the house and face society.

.
.
.
.

See?
Key Style Tribe my ass..........

Monday, March 19, 2007

Reali-toons (Part 1)

Since there's word of a possible Alvin And The Chipmunks movie in 2008, I'm gonna take this opportunity (of my high from flu medication state) to bring you a little tribute to the lovable chipmunks of the 80's...





NOW....

If Hollywood producers would be smart enough NOT to screw this famous cartoon up by expelling the idea of human-costumed chipmunks or badly executed CGIs, it would be great.


BUT....

IF let's say, they wanna make, i dunno, a reality version of the chipmunks whereby Alvin, Simon & Theodore are actually HUMAN equivalent of the chipmunks, I would know the perfect cast ensemble!

Alvin & The Chipmunks: Malaysian Edition

Starring:

Theopilit as Alvin


Sazman as Simon


TheMastefulSurprise as Theodore


Not to mention also, that I can throw Mawi into the production, to give it a local flavor for the Asian viewers!


Guest starring: Nigel as Mawi as Himself.


The movie can otherwise be named Mawi & the Cheapmonkeys.




AND....


The producers can add another ironic twist into the new Chipmunk movie...


The Chipettes (female versions of Alvin & gang), can be aptly named CiPets and the actresses would all be Chinese girls!


Starring:


Pikachew as Brittany


LinYuetty as Jeanette



VonFlowerRulez as Eleanor




.
.
.
.
.

Now, wouldn't *that* be a good movie to watch, aye?

;P

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Post-Perhentian Depression

Back to civilisation.

Back to reality.

Back to work.

Back to diet.

SIGH...................

SSooooo much happening while I was gone, my sampat-radar is going haywire now!

Ssooooo long more to BKK trip....

Ssooooo itchy my sunburnt skin...

Ssooooo lazy to do anything....

Shout out to Brenda, Happy Belated Birthday ILoveYouDon'tHateMeForCallingLate.

Shout out to Theopilit, Happy 2nd Day at work YouCanDoItLoveYouLongTime.

Shout out to Didi, Dodo, Dadu, Duda, Carlos, Captain, Captain's son, 2 cute guys on the beach, Panda kitten, Traumatized Turtles, Dean The Bully, Mars shake, Snicker shake... IMissYouAll.

SIGH.................


kill me.

Thursday, March 8, 2007

No Aphrodisiac

A letter to you on a cassette
'Cause we don't write anymore
Gotta make it up quickly
There's people asleep on the second floor

There's no aphrodisiac like loneliness
Truth, beauty and a picture of you

(Emo Violin)

You'll be walking your dog in a few hours
I'll be asleep in my brother's house
You're a thousand miles away
With food between your teeth
Come up for summer
I've got a place near the beach
There's room for your dog.....

There's no aphrodisiac like loneliness
Truth, beauty and a picture of you

(Emo Violin)

There's no aphrodisiac like loneliness
Truth, beauty and a picture of you

There's no aphrodisiac like loneliness
Youth, truth, beauty, fame, boredom and a bottle of pills

(Emo Guitar)

There's no aphrodisiac like loneliness
You shouldn't leave me alone

There's no aphrodisiac like loneliness
Bare feet like a tom-boy and a crooked smile

Truth, youth, beauty, fame, boredom, red hair, no hair, innocence, Saturday
And a picture of you

A letter to you on a cassette...

You shouldn't leave me alone...

Forty, shaved, sexy, wants to do it all day
With a gun-totin' trigger-happy tranny named Kinky Renée

Tired teacher twenty-eight seeks regular meetings
For masculine, muscular, nappy-clad brutal breeding
While his wife rough-wrestles with a puppy all aquiveron a wine-soaked strobe-lit Asiatic hall of mirrors...
And a dash of loneliness...

There's no aphrodisiac quite like it
Truth, youth, beauty, fame, boredom, red hair, no hair, innocence, impunity
And a picture of you

I got a video set-up
Me love you short time
She pay me suck his finger with some fine wine
And a dash of loneliness

Truth, youth, beauty, fame, boredom, red hair, no hair, innocence, awkwardness, impunity

And a picture of you................

-----------------------------------------------------------

This song is THE most emo song ever.
My praise to The Whitlams for their ingenious lyrics (bold font).
All time favourite.

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Randomness Is An Art

And so it is...











Just like it was before..

Tahi Terjadi

It's been a rather peculiar mid-week.

Emotions are on the highs & lows, and it's not just with me!

Breakups, hookups, screwups, blowups...

It's weird how the human psyche works..

What makes a commited man turn his back & run away from certainty?

What makes the insecure man finally put his foot down & say 'I Quit'?

What does it take for 2 people to start a fire?

What does it take for a woman to feel fully loved?

*Sigh*...

I once heard a quote "There is only one certainty in life, uncertainty".

And I'm like, "Dude.... whatever you're smoking.... I'd like to have some of that too..".